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Thursday
Dec062012

EDM, Al Waser, and the Horseshit Grammy Awards

Okay so before I really begin delving in to this subject, I just want to say FUCK YOU GRAMMYS. Now down to business. All of us here at EDM Lounge are ecstatic about the increase of EDM artists represented in the nominations this year. The revolution is really sweeping the globe! However, it is common knowledge that once a good thing gets snatched up by the mainstream, the corporate suit will just rip it apart and turn it in to another contrived industry based on political favors and overdone marketing.

The feature example this year: Al Waser. Who the fuck is Al Waser and why is his music so terrible and why was he nominated for Best Dance Recording? We’re still waiting for the tight-lipped Grammy executives to break their "no-comment" streak on this. (Huge props to our friend Mr. EDM Snob for his original expose article). The music video for his "Grammy-Nominated record" had only 20 views prior to his posting....

While the music business and entertainment industries have always been one of the slimiest (trust us on this one), this is an all-time low. The purpose of the Grammy Awards is no longer to serve as a litmus paper that distinguishes between poor and high quality music, but as a political tool used to serve the rich and the powerful. I don’t know how much Al Waser paid or whose D he had to suck, but one thing is clear: he did not make it on to that list because of his musical abilities. Just look at his contenders...

Avicii ("Levels"): This one makes me want to eat my own ears, but it was a good song before it got so much airplay, and Avicii himself is an undeniably good producer - love him or hate him. 

Calvin Harris ("Let's Go"): internationally respected in both production and as a DJ, he's a genius who’s had numerous platinum hits this year already. 

Skrillex ("Bangarang"): Oh come on, don’t deny it. Everybody loves Skrilly (except my editor). After all, he's one of the pioneers that even made it possible for EDM to become a main component of the Grammys. Plus he already has 3 of those trophies on his shelf.

Swedish House Mafia ("Don't You Worry Child"): Legends. I hate to biased, but us here at EDM Lounge think that SHM is a shoo-in for the award this year.

...That is, if Al Waser doesn’t win.

And then there's the only category we can truly be proud of, the Remixed Recordings. The list includes Axwell's showstopping remix of Ivan Gough & Feenixpawl's "In My Mind," Photek's remix of Moby's "Lie Down in Darkness," Eric Prydz' "Midnight City" (deserves the win), Skrillex's classic remix of Nero's "Promises," and Tommy Trash's take on Deadmau5's "The Veldt."

The category for Best Dance/Electronic album is a little more reasonable. The nominees are Steve Aoki, Deadmau5, The Chemical Brothers (classic but a bit odd to see them pop up now), Kaskade, and Skrillex (again). A rather predictable list, but at least it's fair competition. And of course as EDM Lounge’s resident "Diplo chick," I’m super excited about Diplo’s nomination for best producer. If he wins, I'll give you guys my personal SnapChat username for some erotic twerktastic surprises (if you're doubting what I'm capable of just look below).

EDM and Al Waser aside, the rest of the Grammy nomination list is equally horseshit. What is the music world coming to when "Sexy and I Know It" by LMFAO gets nominated for Best Pop Duo Performance? I mean really, LMFAO is already embarrassing enough purely by the fact that they still exist but "Sexy and I Know It" isn’t even from 2012! It is from 2011, alongside other songs nominated this year such as “HYFR” by Drake/Lil Wayne, "Niggas In Paris" By Jay-Z/Kanye West, and "Wild Ones" by Flo-Rida & Sia.

And there's always the completely irrelevant artists that manage to get nominated multiple times every year for the last decade such as Pink and Kelly Clarkson. However, my favorite nominee to make fun of is 22 year-old Taylor Swift who has preserved her 14 year-old angst perfectly in her lyrics, in addition to her song titles, which have the word choice suitable for an 8 year old princess. Remember last year, "Mean"? This year it's "We Are Never Ever Getting Back Together." Taylor, I hope that you are never, ever invited back to the Grammy's.

And then there's Carly Rae Jepsen, TSwift's older but exponentially more annoying pop sister whose "Call Me Maybe" got nominated for Song of the Year. Is this really the song that's going to represent the state of music as of 2012? I was under the assumption that it was a joke like Rebecca Black's "Friday." 

Frankly, I'm tired of all of these pop artists sucking on EDM's tit and inserting their own botched version of a "dance break" into every mainstream song. The diversity of music is at a peak right now along with the movement, but the professional industry is at an all time low. At this rate, the world will most likely end before any of these bloodthirsty suits can get their hands on a golden phonograph...

By Anne Chang

Follow me on Twitter: @Ann3c5

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